Assertive Communication – 6 Tips For Effective Use


What is an affirmed communication?

Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings openly, honestly and directly. It recognizes our rights while respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take our responsibilities and actions without judging or blaming others. And this allows us to confront each other constructively and find a mutually satisfactory solution in the event of conflict.

So, why use an affirmed communication?

We all sometimes resort to assertive behavior … we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behavior.

Yet assertive communication training increases the appropriate use of this type of behavior. This allows us to exchange old behaviors for a more positive approach to life. I've found that changing my response to others (co-workers, clients or even my own family) can be exciting and challenging.

The Advantages of Assertive Communication

Assertive communication has many advantages, including:

  • It helps us to feel good about ourselves and others
  • This leads to the development of mutual respect with others
  • That increases our self-esteem
  • It helps us reach our goals
  • This minimizes the injury and alienation of others
  • Reduces Anxiety
  • This protects us from others
  • This allows us to make decisions and choose freely in life
  • This allows us to express, both verbally and nonverbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative.

There are of course disadvantages …

Disadvantages of affirmative communication

Others may not endorse this style of communication or endorse the opinions you express. Plus, having a healthy consideration for another person's rights means that you will not always get what you want. You may also discover that you were wrong on a point of view that you held. But above all, as mentioned earlier, this implies the risk that others do not understand and therefore do not accept this style of communication.

What affirmative communication is not …

Assertive communication is certainly NOT a way of life! This is NOT a guarantee that you will get what you want. This is certainly not an acceptable communication style with everyone, but at least it is NOT aggressive.

But it's about choice

Four choices of behavior

what style of communication you can use. These types are:

direct assault: authoritarian, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, avaricious, and authoritarian

indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceptive, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and inducing in guilt [19659002] subject: moaning, moaning, helpless, passive, undecided and apologetic

assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible and spontaneous

Characteristics of assertive communication

characteristics of assertive communication. These are:

  • Eye Contact: Demonstrates Interest, Shows Sincerity
  • Body posture: Congruent body language will improve the meaning of the message
  • gestures: the appropriate gestures make it possible to put the accent
  • Voice: a well modulated level sound is more convincing and acceptable and is not intimidating
  • timing: use your judgment to maximize responsiveness and impact
  • Content: How, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than what you say

The Importance of Assertions "I"

Part of the affirmation involves the ability to properly express your needs and feelings. You can accomplish this by using "I" instructions. These indicate ownership, do not blame, focus on behavior, identify the effect of behavior, are directly and honestly, and contribute to the growth of your relationship with each other.


  • Behavior
  • Feeling
  • Tangible effect (consequence for you)

Example: "I am frustrated when you are late for meetings, I do not like having to repeat the information."

Six Techniques for Assertive Communication

There are six assertive techniques – each of them in turn.

1. Repetition Behavior: who literally practices how you want to look and hear. This is a very useful technique when you want to use the "I" statements for the first time because it helps dispel any emotion associated with an experience and allows you to accurately identify the behavior you want to face.

2. Repeated Assertion (the "Broken Record"): This technique allows you to feel at ease by ignoring side traps of manipulation, argumentative calls, and irrelevant logic while staying true to your argument. To use this technique most effectively, use quiet repetition and say what you want and stay focused on the problem. You will find that it is not necessary to repeat this technique and that you do not need to "beat" yourself to treat others.


"of our products"

"No thanks, I'm not interested"

"I really have a great range to offer you"

"It may be true, but I'm not interested at the moment"

"Is there anyone here who would be interested?"

"I do not want any of these products"

"Ok, would you take this booklet and think about it?"

"Yes, I will take a brochure"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome"

3. Fogging: this technique allows you to comfortably receive criticism without becoming anxious or defensive, without rewarding manipulative critics. To do this, you must acknowledge the critics, agree that there may be some truth to what they say, but remain the judge of your choice of action. An example of this might be: "I agree that there are probably times when I do not give you answers to your questions.

4. Negative survey: this technique seeks to criticize yourself in honest and negative feelings to improve communication To be effective, you must listen to critical comments, clarify your understanding of these criticisms, use the information if it may be useful or ignore the information if they are manipulative. to be, "So you think / believe I'm not interested?"

5. Negative Affirmation: This technique allows you to more easily look at the negative aspects of your behavior or personality without feeling defensive or anxious. You must accept your mistakes or mistakes, but do not apologize. Instead, you can accept hostile criticisms of your negative qualities, on a tentative and sympathetic basis. An example would be, "Yes, you are right, I do not always listen carefully to what you have to say."

6. A workable compromise: When you feel that your self-esteem is not in question, consider a viable compromise with your interlocutor. your material goals, unless the compromise affects your personal feelings of respect for yourself. However, if the end goal involves a matter of self-confidence and self-respect, there CAN NOT BE COMPROMISE. Understand that you need to talk and that I must finish what I am doing. So, what about the meeting in half an hour? "


Assertiveness is a useful communication tool, its application is contextual and not appropriate in all situations, an act of aggression by others. 19659002] There is no guarantee of success, even when you use assertive styles of communication appropriately.

"Nothing on earth can stop their purpose; nothing on earth can help the individual with the wrong mental attitude "W.W. Ziege


Source by Lee Hopkins

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