Does not it seem that each year we start to prepare Christmas more and more early? It was dark Friday the shops would open their doors to early risers at 6 o'clock in the morning. This year? Many shops around here opened at 00:01. These days, it's not uncommon to see Christmas decorations coming out before the Thanksgiving turkey is even carved. At this rate, we will soon buy packing paper and peppermint sticks along with Freddy Krueger masks and jack-o-lanterns!
Thinking of Christmas started even earlier for me this year. Like, in July. Around Independence Day, I spent a long time talking with my parents about a distant vacation. The reason? Try to understand where they were sent.
You see, when I got married on July 1st, everything changed. Everything I know about holiday traditions has turned into something new. Now there is not one, but three families to consider; the family that is in this house, the family of my wife and, of course, the people who raised me. To spend Christmas with the three families, I needed to invent a new form of science fiction geek transport (on which I will work as soon as I develop a love for Star Trek – do not hold your breath ).
During this Christmas discussion in July, I was sweating buckets (and not just because it had been Florida in summer). I was going to have to tell my parents that this first Christmas was to be sent with my new family. I had the impression to basically say, "I'm giving up 31 years of Christmas traditions with you and I'm starting to create it myself. Even if a rational person knows that it is the right thing to do, she still feels a little disrespectful.
Moreover, how would my parents feel? As if they had just got the bigger one say? Would they be insulted? Get snippy? To be hurt? Sad?
When, through stammering lips, I finally understood the words, I had one more reason to be grateful for the family in which I was born. My parents, as always, took the news and gave me the freedom and support to make the best decision for me.
"You got married now, of course, you must be with your new family," says Dad, emphasizing the need. & # 39; "It does not make sense for you to drag your new escorts into a bunch of people they do not know about – especially 1000 miles from home." You stay in Florida, enjoy Christmas and just do what is best for you. all. We will come to see you before or after the holidays and celebrate together. "
Whew, it was easy!
But it's not so easy for everyone, holidays are notoriously stressful, and family situations like this are largely the That's why, if you've spent all your holidays with the same people for years, then you suddenly find yourself, these people can easily feel snubbed in. Those who hope, no … DEMAND your presence, no matter how much that t & "
Family dynamics are constantly changing, people are dying, people are moving, people are getting divorced, people are unfolding, people are getting sick, people are trapped in airports, people are getting sick. They can not afford to go home … and people get married
Some of these events are good, some are painful, and passages like this are what all families are going through , which can be (and will probably be) the Noë l last, everyone celebrates exactly as it is. Adopt this idea and do not miss the unique joy at this year's experience. Anyone who has suffered a loss knows the precariousness of life – this year can be all you have.
Since my family traditions have changed, I am so, so grateful that I come from a long line of calm and altruistic people who are not personally insulted, I will not be around their tree. On the contrary, they know (and have learned) that the best gift that anyone can offer to someone during holidays and all year round is to love them enough for their loved ones. give the freedom to find and do the things that suit them best.
The truest definition of the family is not about blood relationships, but about support, compassion, and love for the people you care about. If we really remember – I think we will all have less stress on the mean and mean things of the past. This year, embrace those around you (and those around you) and keep healthy family relationships at the top of your wish list.
Seasonal greetings from Engel / Adams House to yours!