Exit Stage Left, The Exodus


Relatively few people would find the story relayed in the Exodus Bible Book anything but fascinating – they do not write more stories like that. Alas, no matter who can put words on paper, it does not need to make those words true. And while our libraries and bookstores are full of books clearly identified as fiction, I'm sure that none of you would ever believe that all the books of non-fiction sections contain only the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The question arises, is the Bible in general, and for the purposes of this essay the section called Exodus, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or sometimes something less, much less, than that?


Moses, Part One: Moses is a pensioner aged about four years. He was commanded by God to undertake various tasks. I'll have more to say about his good faith later, but for now, I'll just point out that Moses was certainly not the author of "Exodus" since this text does 39; was not intended for "exodus". paper & # 39; until several centuries after – the – "fact". And there is no doubt that the version we know today is a copy of a copy and a translation of a translation.

Pharaoh X: The "X" as always means "unknown" because no one has any idea that Pharaoh was the Pharaoh of Exodus. For an absolutely inexcusable reason, assuming of course that we are dealing with history and not with fairy tales, the Egyptian pharaoh is an integral part of this whole story. – Hebrew or Israelite slaves, diplomatic negations with Moses, plagues, etc. – are totally ignored! This sounds like historical texts saying that a certain US president X hired NASA to land a man on the moon and bring him back safely to Earth before 1970, but these historical documents forget which president. The Pharaoh in question could have been Ramses II (also known as Ramses the Great). He is considered by the bettors as the favorite, but there is no documentary or archaeological evidence that Ramses II was involved in any of these events. In addition, Ramses II being healthy in spirit and ego left all kinds of historical records on him for archaeologists thousands of years later to record. Sorry, no Israelites, no slaves or whatever. Whatever it is, Ramses II has five other Pharaohs competing for the honor & # 39; to be the Pharaoh of Exodus. Take a card; no matter which card.

God: The Almighty Deity who works in a mysterious, contradictory, logical and unethical way. This God is a god of Israel and Israelites and only of Israel and its citizens.


God, who on a tape recorded a message that was hidden behind a burning bush * on Mount Sinai from the Bible (God has never been seen) s'. address to Moses: "Good morning, Moses, you had better, if not] to travel to Egypt and negotiate with Pharaoh X the release of some Hebrew slaves (the Israelites – my chosen people) and escort them to the Canaan Land (The Promised Land) Your brother Aaron to help you Feel free to impress Pharaoh X with awesome salon towers so that he knows how powerful you are for you This band s & # 39; 39, will self-destruct in five seconds Good luck Moses

Good luck, indeed, for our omniscient God, God knows very well that Moses will get the middle finger of Pharaoh X. God knew that he had to resort to a good old fashion blow to show Pharaoh X the error of his ways, and undoubtedly, God relished the opportunity to stay in practice with his typing techniques.

And it happened that Pharaoh X told Moses where to go and what to do to himself when he arrived! Too bad for the minor snake and the staff of Plan A & # 39; The parlor tricks are approaching – on Plan B and the time to be serious with some really awesome salon tricks (with more than a little help from the Almighty) – the ten wounds.


We all learned about the ten plagues that were inflicted on Egypt and its citizens. Alas, and surprisingly, the ten wounds are not recorded in the ancient Egyptian historical texts. Of course, ancient Egypt has suffered several natural disasters, flooding the Nile or not enough floods; droughts and famines, but nothing similar to the rapid succession of all kinds of other calamities the references of the Bible – blood, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, boil, hail, grasshoppers, darkness and death to the firstborn . Historians do not have a bar of these tales of the plague because there is not the slightest flap of hardcore evidence for them. Natural explanations can easily explain these very long-term events as dissociated events – I mean there's nothing supernatural about hail, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, locusts or algae (blood). The darkness can result from solar eclipses to ash clouds, volcanic eruptions to usually covered conditions.

As for the last plague, God directly strikes the first-born (including the first-born of cattle for an absolutely unfathomable reason that human societies must comment), of all Egyptians (sparing of course the Israelites), Direct violation of his command "You will not kill". Wow, double standard God is an absolute euphemism in this context.

You thought that if a foreign deity (to the Egyptians) had struck the Egyptians with these ten wounds (or even just the last one – the straw that broke Pharaoh X) that there would be I've again mentioned in the ancient Egyptian inscriptions. No! You thought that God would have been the subject of those famous curses and curses of Egyptian vengeance, because after all, they only influenced the Egyptians, not the Israelites. This is not the case.

Verdict: The ten wounds are either non-associated events largely separated in time or pure fiction. I would opt for pure fiction because of a lack of documentation in the historical archives of Egypt.

These Israelite or Hebrew Slaves

Which Israelite Slaves? No such population has been recorded in Egyptian history and the ancient Egyptians have kept minute records as only obsessed accountants can. However, we will go with the flow of Exodus and note that the ten plagues finally persuaded Pharaoh X to let go of the people chosen by God. Well, somehow. An obvious question, however, arises. Since Pharaoh X was the only obstacle, why was it necessary to remove the atrocities on the ordinary Egyptian citizen totally unaware of what was happening and why – ditto these cattle? I mean submitting the Pharaoh X to several hours of heavy metal music or rap (God would have expected these musical styles to come true) should have gone around the torture without undue ethnic sub-sequences. Regardless, and after the fact, Pharaoh X changed his mind and sent his army and army tanks to bring them dead or alive – probably alive, because a Dead slave is no use even to a pharaoh. High noon was at the Red Sea, or was it the sea of ​​reeds?

Verdict: Ancient Egypt does not have; repeat is not, put to work slaves Israeliii.


Assuming the correctness of the Exodus up to this point (which I do not do), there is a dispute about the passage of this water plan by the Israelites who escape and the drowning of Pharaoh X's army. The KJV version of the Bible actually says "Red Sea". However schools suggest that it was, should there be, sea reeds or sea reeds, this swampy part is part of the northeastern region of the delta of Egypt.

Why confusion for such an important, unique, and even historical event? – If that happened of course. And how could this happen?

Verdict: this did not happen. If the ancient Egyptians had removed a large part of their army, there would be a historic trace of good faith inscribed somewhere, one way or another, in the ancient Egyptian writings or inscriptions. And the claims that the remains of Egyptian tanks were found on the seabed of the Red Sea have turned out to be total nonsense and pseudo-archeology. Any bona fide archaeologist would sell his soul to the devil for such a discovery – an army value of the Egyptian chariots of that time at the bottom of the Red Sea. They will become as famous as Howard Carter of King Tut's fame or Heinrich Schliemann who found and rolled out Troy. Confirming the Exodus by physical archaeological evidence would be worthy of a Nobel Prize – if they keep one for archeology or history of course.

But assuming that this unique event of geographical separation of waters has occurred, perhaps a massively strong wind or earthquake may have accomplished the task naturally, but the texts (Exodus and other Biblical references) do not connect all these natural forces to work at the time. Almost Moses washed his arms and did the hokey-pokey and the rest as they tell the story. Of course, mortal men can not divide the waters, so, again, we have an unprecedented natural event; or a true God behind the scenes, waiting in the wings off stage pulling the real strings; or an episode of pure fiction.

Verdict: pure fiction.


On the road between Egypt and the Promised Land, following the separation of waters, Moses made this requested stopover at Mount Sinai to pick up the offering of God. As a reward for his return from patronage in this mountain resort, he was given rather heavy stone tablets – the Ten Commandments. For some reason, it took forty days and nights (sometimes some confusion here with Noah?).

Now some questions arise here. How is it that it takes almost six weeks to write the Ten Commandments? God should have prepared the tablets and handed them to our 80-year-old boarder. If it is not that, it should not have been a big problem to create them in six minutes, to be an almighty and all that. It would not have taken Superman that long – more than six seconds for the man in the cloak wearing his underwear on the outside.

Whatever may be, if God had had a movement and Moses had been thrown into the mountains, that would have been a good thing and would have saved many conflicts because in his long absence of six weeks, his disciples The great Israelite undressed and the Hebrew scoundrel threw themselves into trouble, taking away God and Moses.

Left to their & # 39; idle & # 39; The time, brother Aaron, watching over the flock, passed around the collecting plate and collected all the metals in their possession and used the same, created a real idol – a golden calf apparently. Now, how on earth could this motley crowd make advanced metallurgy (melt and sink) in the desert beyond me? Whatever the case may be, idols are a great no-no in the eye of God, so a little evil was really bad.

But back for a moment on the mountain and on these six weeks. Moses opportunely seizes the opportunity to diet and not to eat or drink for the duration of the wait. Or maybe God was a bad host. You think God could have some manna to spare or some bread and fish to share with Moses. God is indeed a rather poor host. Just because God does not need to eat or drink – a big mistake IMHO.

Verdict: Well, let's face the logic. The logic is that this whole scenario is 100% ellogical. This has never happened.


Alas, in a tantrum, Moses, returning to ground level and these former Israelite slaves, spotted the golden calf, this non-idol, stung a crisis and unfortunately broke up rather heavy original stone tables – only the instant answer here. Yes, our old pensioner is now returning to the Mount Sinai site, but this time he has to take fresh stone tablets on the mountain so that God's finger can write on it. All he gets is a carbon copy (or a photocopy) of these heavy stone tablets. This time, on his return from the top of the mountain, carrying these heavy stones, he did not make butterfingers and dropped the dishes and so the Ten Commandments finally made their legitimate way to those who needed such instructions, these Israelites amoral lot since since they create idols and others. Why these great unwashed amoral ones should be the chosen people of God is beyond me, but hey, we all love to encourage the underdog. And slaves freed from slavery, then pursued by the Egyptian army, enduring trials in the desert, are a classic case of negligence on the part of those who drive and reach the summit – at least for a little moment. But the difficulties were not over yet, not a shot. Freedom was another forty years old.

Verdict: If the scenario surrounding the Ten Commandments, Round One has no foundation in the historical fact, then the sequel is a case of already seen again. No one disputes that there are ten commandments in the Bible, plus many more "you will have to" and "you should not" too. Whether or not they come from a deity or not, it is here or there, but a good argument can be advanced in favor of the origin and the gift. The problem here is the delivery method.


I suppose we leave behind us Mount Sinai of Exodus. It is unfortunate that some chosen people have not chosen to mark the location on a map. To add insult to injury, not only Moses and the story to this day are inflexible, so is the location of Mount Sinai from the Bible itself. Mount Sinai Biblical should not be confused with a real Mount Sinai near St. Catherine and Mount St. Louis. Catherine Road, road south of the Sinai Peninsula and therefore off the beaten path to the Promised Land. Surely God would have positioned himself somewhere on the most direct and logical route between Lower Egypt (North Egypt) and Canaan Land (northeastern well) and not forcing his chosen people to go south . to the northeast – it's hundreds of miles of road. It would be like traveling from Chicago to Seattle via the Grand Canyon!

Modern schools differ as to the exact geographical position of Biblical Mount Sinai, which ranged from the Sinai Peninsula to the Negev in Saudi Arabia to Petra and beyond. Much of the debate is about the identification or not of biblical Mount Sinai with a volcano, in that the Biblical (Exodus) version of Mount Sinai is associated with a lot of smoke, fire, and sulfur. In any case, no one can really identify with certainty in a specific geographical location of a high nature (so we can not go to see this noncombustible bush but still burning or see where the rock was). quoted by God for these original stone tablets, now broken). So the! Bad luck! Hard cheddar! Sorry & # 39;

Verdict: Something is really somewhere!


God is still healed enough of his chosen people and therefore in another fit of anger (God's constant tantrums become really boring after a while) God condemns these ex-slaves to wander in the wilderness, never be deprived of the Promised Land, sparing that for their children (real or temporary) instead. If God has commanded you to spend forty years wandering aimlessly in the desert wilderness, you would say, "Yes, Master – everything you command Master" or something a little more unprintable like "# @ & * #% "average number of the hand? Assuming that the people involved are not physically restricted, it takes forty years to go from Egypt to the Promised Land. It seems absolutely useless to insist on the instruction of God. He wanted his people to go to the land of Canaan, so why delay things with this punishment? God of the double standard is also God with stones between his ears. In any case, you will be sick of a diet manna after forty days, let alone forty years! I mean it's just bread, even if it's sweet. I am sure that any modern nutritionist will disapprove anyone who undertakes a manna diet only for forty years! Even airline food would be a massive improvement, if they had plane ticket back in those days.

Verdict: Forty years in the desert, it's fiction, pure fiction, without any archaeological evidence to back anything up to the contradictory. Even if you were only one kilometer a day and heading in one direction, let's say the direction of the rising sun, you would be out of any desert lane well before forty years.

And about what, with this biblical obsession with the number forty? Apart from Noah and the examples mentioned above, we have our central character, Moses, who was twice forty when he was called by God to come out of retirement and three times forty when Moses gave a blow foot in the bucket.


First of all, there is no evidence of Moses' existence. Moses, as well as the veracity of the Exodus story in which he highlights is disputed among archaeologists and those who know the history of ancient Egypt well. You will not find as much as a hieroglyph with his name attached. Now that's a little surprising. Even though Moses was not the number one Egyptian public enemy, he was still on their ten most wanted list.

Now we come to the birth and discovery of baby Moses. You know the story of the floating basket and its loved ones, but it's the worst plagiarism, at worst, reinventing the wheel at best. There is nothing really original about it. The original first generation tale is attributed to what happened to baby [future King] Sargon (a truly real historical character without a doubt), the first empire builder in the Mesopotamian region. King Sargon (2330 – 2280 BC) forged the Akkadian empire, establishing the capital of Agadé at Akkad – look at it and take a look. King Sargon mentions a mention in the Bible as being a king of Assyria.

That aside, Moses was already ten years after his normally consecrated life when God saved his commission and gave the order to release those beautiful, but unverified, Hebrew slaves. If the standard life allocation is three points and ten, why choose a four-year retiree? Maybe the diplomatic talent and those who were able to perform parlor tricks were just a little thin on the ground. But in reality, at a time when there is no air transport or air-conditioned road transport, would you choose an 80-year-old man to undertake not only the initial diplomatic task, but everything that follows? Remember, with regard to the Ten Commandments, it is about a pensioner of 80 who, after forty days and a half of starvation diet, dies of thirst, must go down a mountain of two big Stone tablets, aged (even without the diet) would blow-and-bag over.

Finally, in a worthy ending to the heartbreaking Hollywood finale, Moses sniffs at him, kicks the bucket at six and a half (120) just in sight of his goal – the Promised Land. Ok, handkerchiefs in the pocket! As I said at the beginning, they do not write them like that anymore!

Verdict: I think that Moses is a fictional fictional fiction, a fictional character useful for accomplishing different scenarios of the unknown author, just as George Orwell made Winston Smith as a central character required in his novel "1984", and Arthur Conan Doyle created Dr. Watson to help flesh out Sherlock Holmes's tales.


The Biblical Book of Exodus is worthy of a Hugo Science Fiction Award. However, as a really real story, it is not credible – in fact it is pure bovine fertilizer. There were not ten wounds; no Moses, no Hebrew slaves, no burning bush, no elderly pensioner struggling to wear (and later) mountain stone tablets, no wild exile, in fact no one. Exodus – Exit Stadium, Exodus.


A little out of context here, but what I find confusing, is how a relatively minor deity, who let it go was a worse tyrant or despot than anybody else. Attila-le-Hun With relatively weak constitutionality and control or jurisprudence over a relatively small geographic area, they could take over many hearts and minds of peoples around the world. From the god of Israel to the god of life, the universe and everything is a nice trick.

I think the answer, the call, is that formerly all cultures literally had thousands of deities in charge of life, the universe and everything. It is much easier to adopt, remember the name, rituals and codes of the same deity than those of most other cultures. Put it this way, your choice – just remember 1 x 1, or memorize the entire multiplication table to say 25 x 25. That's your choice.

* Engaging in a conversation with God through a fiery bush middleman must be one of the most inventive scenarios of the Almighty. Maybe this must be an old variation on people talking to their potted plants – Prince Charles is in good company.


Source by John Prytz

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